I know in today’s society our family of nine is a strange sight. But why?
When I was a child I always hated the response ‘because I said so’. When I asked a question, I wanted an honest, logical answer! I never liked for someone else to think for me. I wanted to make my own choices and decisions. I wasn’t rebellious and didn’t throw caution to the wind. I listened to the wisdom of others and tried to learn from them but if it didn’t make sense to me then I would just do my own thing. Like, why not get married at 18? 17 years later he’s still my best friend.
If you’ve known me for very long or read my blog post “Yes to Blessing Explained”, you know that after the birth of our second child we gave in to the urgings of God that if we 100% trusted Him, we would trust Him with the number of children we would have. This was not an easy decision or one we took lightly. Remember how I said I liked to make my own decisions? That sounds so arrogant as I write it, but it’s what we do isn’t it?
I started to search what God said about children and no where did I find, thou shalt have two children and be blessed. If I’m doing my math right, two children does not equate to multiplying! Please don’t misunderstand my intent here. I know great godly people who have been told by God that a small family is what they are supposed to have. I’m not trying to get everyone to join us and have a dozen kids. My intent is to spark in you the desire to think outside of the box that society has created and the propaganda that has been drilled on you since school. Don’t miss out on the perfect plan God has for your life (Jeremiah 29:11) because of fear.
It breaks my heart to see so many held back by fear that don’t even realize it. Fear of what others will think, fear they won’t be able to provide, fear they are not strong enough or don’t have the patience, fear of a difficult or lost pregnancy (believe me, I know both)… the list goes on. I guess it really does come down to having a childlike faith, letting go of yourself, and seeking what God would have you to do. I’m living proof that if the Lord brings you to it He’ll bring you through it. When we started this journey we never imagined where God would take us and it’s so much better than the ‘plan’ we had. It hasn’t been easy but the journey to greatness never is. Look at Abraham, Joseph, Moses, David… and many others throughout history.
None of us mean to fall into the trap of conforming, but we truly have become a monkey see monkey do society. That’s why when a family of nine like us walks through the door, it turns heads. We’ve just accepted that to ‘fit in’ we need a nice house, nice car, college degree, successful career, birth control (can’t mess up the previous list with an ‘unwanted’ pregnancy!), nice clothes, and the eventual pre-planned 2.2 kids. I’m not at all saying that those things are not well and good. I have many of those things and enjoy them. God wants to bless us. I’m saying don’t achieve them just because that’s what is expected of you. I’m grateful for the experience of college but now I’m a stay at home mom who is still paying for that piece of paper. Sometimes I wonder what my family would have looked like if I hadn’t used birth control at first. We can’t change the past, only learn from it and move forward.
I hope this has sparked the desire in you to ask why. Why work an 8-5? Maybe you would be more useful to your family and society if you started your own business. Why take birth control? If you studied about how and why ‘family planning’ was started you’d be appalled. Why retire? The Jews believe as long as you have use to others you should keep going! Retirement is actually a very selfish idea. (Check out “Thou Shall Prosper” by Rabbi Lapin). We were not made to be served but to serve. I encourage you before you make any decision about the course of your life to ask yourself, why is it usually done this way and is this the way God would want me to do it? Blessings!
Seek first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33