I want to start by saying that I love my husband from the bottom of my heart. He is my best friend in the whole world and I am in no means trying to harm his reputation or make him look bad in any way. I have his permission to write this post. That being said Lenard and I got into a huge fight a few days ago! Why am I telling you this? To let you know that even us “perfect couples” have our differences and sometimes get into disagreements.
I don’t think in a marriage that you should go blabbing about when you fight and what you fight about to friends and family. I think that is one of the problems with many marriages today and your personal stuff should be kept just that. Therefore I will not go into the specifics of the fight. Something I said in frustration was taken out of context by him and something he said to me was taken the wrong way as well and it ended in me storming out the front door crying and him storming out the back door angry and frustrated. Once again my complex emotional woman brain and his simple logical male brain didn’t see things the same way. Imagine that! After cooling down a bit and explaining our points of view with each other we of course resolved things and made up.
We both hurt each other very bad but during the whole thing we never stopped loving each other. We didn’t like each other very much at the moment though! I can honestly say and he would say the same thing that even in the most heated of arguments we have had, divorce has never crossed our minds. I am not saying this to put myself up on a pedestal or anything, but it just baffles my mind how so many people are “falling out of love” with each other. I know that some hurts are deeper than others, but I truly believe that my God is a God who can heal even the deepest of wounds. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and those who are bruised and crushed by life. (Luke 4:18) God is also a God of resurrection and He can bring back to life the deadest of marriages. I have heard many testimonies where God has done this. Please don’t think I am trying to condemn anyone who has gotten a divorce or who is going through a divorce. God will meet you where you are and He is also a God of restoration. He can put together broken pieces and form them into something beautiful. Instead of a beautiful vase maybe you have a beautiful mosaic!
Lenard has been my best friend since we were 16. We have been married since we were 18 and will celebrate 12 years of marriage this year. Our souls are truly knit together and I do believe he is my soul mate from God. We are still 2 different people with different ideas about some things and different views about how some things should be. God gave everyone their own uniqueness. What a boring world it would be if He hadn’t. We should strive to look past our own points of view and try to see things from the other persons point of view as well. You still might not agree on the subject, but at least you know where they are coming from and that’s ok!
To be honest, Lenard and I rarely fight, but when we do we can duke it out as good as the next guy. We are not perfect. Only Jesus is perfect. We make mistakes and when we do we just forgive each other, make up (which is the funnest part of a fight if you know what I mean!), and move on. What else can you do? God honors the covenant you made on your wedding day if you will let Him. When couples are struggling I like to point them to 1 Peter 3. God designed marriage for a reason and if you honor Him in your marriage, He will bless you. Marriage is so absolutely wonderful! I cannot imagine my life without Lenard.
Here is my advice for a lasting marriage:
Keep God first. God is the glue that holds a marriage together and no marriage is complete without Him.
Pray together out loud! A family that prays together stays together is true. Statistics have shown that there are very few divorces in a family that prays together out loud. If you seek God you will find Him.
Trust each other! If you can’t trust your spouse, who can you trust. You cannot have a healthy relationship with secrets.
Have a good sex life! What an amazing gift from God! What a fun way to be intimate with your spouse. Listen women. Your husband NEEDS this. If your husband is satisfied at home he will have no reason to be tempted to look elsewhere. If you struggle with this, pray about it! It’s ok to talk to God about sex. I promise He won’t blush.
Husbands, your wife needs to be and feel loved. Find out what makes her feel loved and do it.
Just be friends. Talk with each other. Share with each other. Tease each other. Do fun things with each other.
If you strive to do these things you will be on track for a wonderful and satisfying marriage. This is still a cursed world. Conflict WILL happen. When you fall, just brush off the dirt, get up and keep going.